Friday, October 24, 2014

BATTLE OF THE BEDROOM

I know many of you have been following my bedroom saga. If not here is a recap from social media: 



Then I took a 4 day break from my room so it could sit and think about what it had done to me, and then I posted a selfie:


The hard thing about cleaning your room these days is that there are so many distractions! Pinterest, Twitter, Facebook, Snapchat, Netflix, napping, etc. I get so distracted and then I'm like "maybe if I do this then it will help," or "let me get this done first and then I'll get to the bedroom." I was watching BoJack Horseman on Netflix (instead of cleaning my room) and found this clip that perfectly described what my thought process is. In this clip, BoJack is suppose to be writing his memoir which is due soon, but he's having trouble staying on task: 


My problem is that I've never been a clean person. And every time I clean the house I tell Spencer "this time it's going to be different!" And then it stays clean for a while and then all the sudden I turn around and it's as if a bomb went off. There is no in between. Some how I feel that I can blame my childhood on this but I'm not sure how. Pray for me that I can overcome throwing my clothes on the floor and learn to put them on a hanger. 
Let's hope this weekend I come out the other side with a clean room and better lucky then last weekend (which consisted of me not getting dressed until 6pm, and then going straight to get a Diet DP and spilling it all over my clothes). That right there is God telling you that you shouldn't have left the house and just stayed in your sweats.    

-Ash



Thursday, October 16, 2014

EQUALITY IN ALL THINGS: THE BIKINI ISSUE


Alright, it's time. This is the big one. This is where we separate the men from the boys... or at least the girls from, the other girls. About a week ago I noticed that someone I follow on instagram had some heated comments from someone about the bikini she was wearing on a family trip. Now this wasn't a scandalous swimsuit, or a floozy-of-a-girl. This is a 20 something mother of a young baby who was wearing one of those high waisted swimsuits (that I generally think looks like a diaper on most people) who is a little well known in the Mormon community, as she is a pretty popular videographer and blogger. This complete stranger had the audacity to comment on her Instagram and tell her that she was immodest and not setting a good example for young women. Now I'm all for having an opinion on something. But I'm not for telling a complete stranger of my opinion and letting them know they are wrong and should live their life the way I live mine. Especially on their personal social media accounts. Needless to say this girl got ripped a new one by hundreds of other commenters but it got me thinking about something... 

ABS ARE ABS! PERIOD. right? 

First let me say this post really only relates to the Mormon community. Yes there are many people that think bikinis are immodest but bottom lines is, it's not a commandment. Yes you can find things here and there in The Friend and the 1983 issue of The New Era where people say that bikinis are immodest, but I can guarantee you that the Prophet himself has not gone to the Lord and conversed on this matter because frankly he has better things to worry about and both the Lord AND the Prophet trust that they have given us the tools to make our own informed decisions. Just like with the music we listen to, the movies we watch, and the caffeinated beverages that some of us inject into our bloodstream. Also, let's consider the fact that the church is also run by a bunch of old men. I'm not even going to go into why I bring that up. Let's just linger in thought on that statement for a little while.

Now back to my "abs are abs" statement. For those of you who think that bikinis are immodest, let's look at why. The one factor that bikinis bring to the table is the abdomen. So ipso facto (I've always wanted to use that word) you think that the abdomen is the immodest part. So if a belly button and the abdominal wall are immodest, then shouldn't they be immodest for both genders? Now I'm going to make a bold statement here that I may get backlash for but YES, I think that viewing bikinis as immodest is an anti-feminist view. It's the same as if the church (or an individual) came out and said "OK women, you have to wear gloves because hands are scandalous, but men, you don't have to. You're fine." WTF??? So I'm a big skank to a (growing smaller by the day) specific group of like-minded Mormons for showing off my digits, but the boys can show them off as they please? Please tell me the logic in that!

Let's shift gears. Have you ever seen a penis? Like a real live penis in the wild? (gears switched indeed) Well guess what... they are frightening. I'm sure there are very few women out there that are thinking "man seeing a penis just does it for me." If asking a guy what the sexiest part of a woman is, a lot of them will probably say legs, butt, boobs, face, etc. Stomach is probably not at the top of that list. But ask a girl... hell ya it's their ABS! I want to rub my hands up and down those puppies! Not to mentions the pecks and the arms. Oh the aaaaarms! But seriously no one in their right mind is going to say penis! In conclusion (to this paragraph but not post) women get ab-shamed when guys don't really care about their abs that much, but guys can show them off and it's fine, even though it leaves us standing in a puddle of our own drool. How does that even make sense in the "modesty" scheme of things? You get to show off your hard work at the gym and use your abs as a medal of honor, while I have to hide mine like a scar of shame? How does that even make sense? And here are some examples of abs that make us blush:


And lastly, the father of my children: 

Now I know a lot of girls wear one pieces because they feel more comfortable in them, or because they may be self conscious, and that's just fine. If I've got period bloat, you won't be finding me in my 2-piece; I'll be on the couch with a vat of Cheetos (because calories don't count if you're menstruating). BUT you're also not going to find me on Instagram finding Mormon girls in a one-piece saying "Hey put on a bikini. Stop promoting the Amish lifestyle. Live a little, you conservative baby!"  The word "feminist" has a bad taste in some people's mouths, and I've never really considered myself one, but when it comes to stomach equality, I'm all on board! And even if you don't agree with me, and feel that my abs are straight out of a pornographic nightmare (yet your husband/brother/dad can flaunt them around the pool at me as if to say "haha sucker you wish you could expose your umbilical cord scar and your torso like me") that's fine. You don't have to agree with me, but you don't have to walk around telling people that they are a bad example in this church. That is the one thing I'm looking forward to as the church progresses and adapts; that they begin to realize that it's actually better for PR if we all look a little different and all have our own opinions. Then we don't look so much like the weirdo robots some people think we are. Free agency is beautiful isn't it? As well as the female body! Well that's all I have for you today. Take us out David!


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Wednesday, October 1, 2014

MEANT TO BE

This weekend, as Spencer and I sat on the couch, watching Godzilla and eating chicken wings, I let out a loud belch and Spencer said "I'm the only one who could be married to you." #boysweekend. Wait... not all guys want to spend their weekend on the couch eating junk food and watching monster movies? What is the world coming to!? That sounds like my kind of weekend! He's also the only one for me because this weekend I also debuted some lingerie, followed up by doing the "Liz Lemon" dance from 30 Rock:

Here is the link if the video doesn't work: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cdnSc12bx5c


I mean who wouldn't be turned on by that? No one? Ok... Anyway, last year Spencer and I started watching 30 Rock on Netflix, and it was so funny that right now we are in the process of watching them all over. Go watch them! Now! This is mainly what our weekend consisted of. We also puppy-sat a friend's dog, which it turns out was a little hard for Zero to have to share her toys and attention. Only child syndrome is real!

BUT... even though all of that qualifies as an epic weekend for me, I'm even more excited for this upcoming weekend! First we will be starting off Friday by seeing Gone Girl! I've been counting down the days for this and can't wait to share it with my anti-book reading husband. Movie adaptations are the only way that Spencer and I can bond over books I love. Then Saturday I am going to lunch with all my childhood friends. It's weird that I have to give them a label but I guess I have my friends back in Salt Lake that I grew up with, and then my college friends. Many of them are married and some have kids so it's hard to get us all together. Then on Sunday, it's the season premier of American Horror Story! I've been waiting for this forever since I watched all 3 seasons on Netflix in like one month last year. And on top of it all, I can't wait to start decorating our place for Halloween this weekend! Halloween is my favorite holiday. I love the season, the weather, the costumes, fun decor, the movies, and haunted houses! Well I'm off to Lagoon for a work party (not my own). Hope all of you have as good a weekend this weekend as I'm planning on having!


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