Monday, June 30, 2014


This weekend was probably one of my least favorites in a long time due to multiple reasons, but the one I'd like to share is the passing of my uncle Kenny. He was one of the funniest guys I knew and could always break up any tension in the room. He was also an amazing cook due to his Italian roots and always made a delicious dinner that he would hold every Christmas, and he'd always make sure to let me know he bought an extra can of olives just for me. 

Last week he got in a car accident. I woman t-boned him on the drivers side. They had to use the jaws of life to get him out but at the time he was still conscious. He even joked with the paramedics that he "could really go for an anchovie pizza and some beers right about now." At the time, is condition was critical, but it looked like he would pull through, even after slipping into a coma. But on Thursday morning, his MRI showed blood pooling in his brain and he suddenly took a turn for the worst. Thursday evening I went with my sister's to say our goodbyes, as the next day they were going to take him off oxygen, and the chances that he would breath on his own were slim. I don't really know hospital lingo, but when he was admitted to the Shock and Trauma ward, he was scaled at a 12. The day we came to see him he was a 6. I was informed you don't come back from a 6. And if you do, you'll never be the same. 

Let me just say that if there is a list of places I don't ever want to visit again, it would be the Shock and Trauma ward. There is so much sadness and pain there. I know many probably come and go after being admitted, but I know there are some, like Kenny, who never left. I couldn't wrap my brain around the fact that there were so many other rooms occupied; so many other grieving families; so many people clinging to life and hoping to come out fighting. It amazes me, the amount of suffering that goes on around us while we go about our day-to-day.

My aunt said at the hospital that they weren't going to sue the woman that hit him because it wasn't worth ruining two lives. I'm sure that's a hard pill to swallow when you're experiencing grief and want someone to blame. Often times the guilt and regret that we beat ourselves up with, is greater than any punishment that someone could think up. 

I've come away with a greater understanding of two things: First, you never know when your time on this earth is up. It seems like you have a life time to get around to something, fulfill a dream, or apologize to so-and-so, but in reality, that's a risk we don't know will pay off. Second, I now have a better understanding of the responsibility I'm taking on when I get inside my car every morning. Driving has become second nature to many of us, and is just another part of the day, but we often times don't stop to realize how many lives have been carelessly take due to negligence.

Kenny... I know you're smiling down on all of us with an anchovie pizza in hand, and I hope you save one for me (sans anchovies of course)!. 

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