Friday, July 25, 2014

HI I'M ZERO AND I HAD A BIRTHDAY

As most of you probably know it was my birthday yesterday. I've been on this earth for a whole year and it's been fun. Mostly because my humans are sickly obsessed with me and treat me like their child. My grandma says they need to have a baby already but I'm much more fun. Thank you to all of those who wished me a happy birthday. Today I've commandeered the blog to tell you a little more about myself: 

> My nicknames include The Walrus, Stinky Dog, Tube Dog, and "hey-you-doog." I don't think I look like a walrus but everyone says Its because I have a big tube body with no neck.


> I'm the best sleeper! I sleep for about 12 hours every night. 
> I'm pretty needy. I like to whine when no one is paying attention to me.
> I know sit, stay, shake, other shake (other paw), and down. I also know the word treat and walk, and I run to the door when someone says walk so the humans have to be careful with their words. I'm also too smart for my own good and when you pull out a treat I will automatically sit and put my paw up to shake because I know that's what you're going to ask me to do anyway.
> I love car rides with all my heart. Mom says I want to be the hood ornament because I try to see how far I can hang out of the car every time.
> I hate the sound of a plastic bags. They are the scariest! I also hide when mom gets out the lint roller because I shed so much that she uses it to get all the extra hair off me.
> I don't really play fetch. I just chase the ball, and then the rest of the time I just play keep-away and you have to try to get it from me. I'm actually pretty fast for a walrus.
> I am a very load snorer and sometimes mom kicks me in my sleep to get me to stop.
> I really like TV. I even bark at the bad guys sometimes! This picture was from a day that I just sat on the couch for like 10 minutes by myself watching TV and mom walked past and took this because she said it kind of creeped her out:

^ Nothing to see here. Just catching up on "Wilfred."

> I only have one type of speed for playing: Rough! Sometimes it's too much for other dogs so I have to have a timeout. 
> I'm up to 40lb! Mom hopes I wont get much bigger because it's getting hard to pick me up and carry me away when I'm being naughty. 
>I love hands and ears! And by love I mean I love trying to bite and lick them. But I'm nice and I know I can only do that with my close human friends. Don't worry... they are soft play bites. 
>I'm a great watch dog. Don't get that confused with guard dog. I'll let you know when there is a weird noise or someone at the door, but I don't care if they try to rob the place. I'll probably just see if they have treats or will scratch my belly. 

Now here are a few cute pictures of me because you can never have too many: 

 ^ They tell me I get crazy eyes when I have my ball. I don't see it. 
 ^ I love basking in the warmth of the window-well. 
 ^ My new thing is getting up on the kitchen chairs to hunt for food scraps. I must know it's naughty because I only do that when the humans leave the room. The other day I even climbed on the table but then I got in trouble. 
^My humans must get fast food a lot because I know what the drive-thru is and sometimes I get impatient for the food that's waiting for us at the end.  
^ I always can sense when the humans are leaving. Can I fit in your suitcase?  

Here is the link to the doggy cupcakes my mom made me. They were so good! My mom used whipped cream on top instead though, because I really really like that stuff... except when it comes out of the can it kinda scares me. I also absolutely hated that crown. SQUIRREL! 

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