Well,
I haven’t blogged in a while. I mean how does a gal find time when she is
planning and enjoying a (to some people) once in a lifetime event. The story I’m
about to tell you is a little too fresh of a wound. I mean it’s not still
bleeding, but it’s definitely in the scabbing/festering sore type of stage so I
still get emotional thinking about it but here it goes… (sorry again for the
length):
So
what does it mean when I say I’m one of thoooose girls now? Well a few people
in this life get to experience the privilege of saying that their wedding was
pretty much completely ruined. I’m “lucky” enough to join those ranks. Ok, so
for all those who attending you know that saying “completely” might be going
too far, but not by much. So to sum up my horror story, the days leading up to
the wedding the news said there was a 20% chance of scattered showers. I was in
complete denial. When you tell people you are having an outdoor wedding, one of
the first questions they ask you is “what’s your plan B?” Plan B! There is no plan
B! Plan B is that I call it off and eat bon bons in my room while my tears soak
through the pillow, obviously! BUT I have a smart and loving mother who (just 2
days before the event) spent a generous amount of money on tents in case it
rained. I was very grateful for the tents, however a few things had to change
which I was a little sad about. Everyone had to sit a little more spread apart
because the dinner was essentially in a small orchard and the trees couldn’t
fit under the tents. Also I couldn’t hang things from the trees anymore because
no one would be able to see so I had to then figure out where to hang things
from inside the tent. Small setback, but manageable.
Well
the big day came, and the ceremony went great. We were sealed in the draper
temple and had a beautiful experience. It had cooled down that day to around
90, which was better than the 103 degree weather the day before. As Spence and
I were driving back from the temple, it started to sprinkle a little, which
made me extremely nervous. But everyone said they were praying for good weather
so it helped calm my nerves. And guess what… the weather cleared up! BUT long story
short, 10 minutes before the dinner began, a giant wind storm blew in. WIND
STORM! Those tents could have handled the rain, but WIND!?? We didn’t compensate
for that. I can only imagine what everyone who was setting up was thinking, as
they watched with horror as the place cards that me and Spencer spent hours on
the night before, blew everywhere; and as the center pieces my mom designed and
arranged where blown over, causing the water in the vases to drench the table
clothes. Plates were blowing off, napkins were scattered, pictures frames were
on the ground, and the horror went on. I couldn’t watch. It was like watching
your own baby get stabbed repeatedly, and I hated that everyone was staring at
me to watch my reaction. So, I did what any refined women would do, I went into
my room, shut the door, and had my mental breakdown out of sight. Spencer came
into my room and for the next hour I stayed there and cried harder than I had
ever before into his lap. I was so mad. I kept asking myself why God did this
to me!? Why did MY wedding have to be ruined and not someone else’s? I wasn’t only
crying for myself, but also for my mother. She has spent more time and more
money on this than I care to share. She slaved away in her gorgeous garden to
get the yard perfect, she sewed all the bridesmaids’ dresses, table runners,
and gift bags. I couldn’t believe after all her hard work and sacrifice that
God would let a storm ruin it. I also knew my mother well enough to know that
in another room she was also having a breakdown because all she wanted was for
me to enjoy my wedding and she didn’t think it was possible anymore, and also
because she knew I couldn’t keep it together so it was up to her to figure out
how to save the wedding dinner.
Meanwhile
I was in my room sobbing to spencer about how I wouldn’t even be able to look
at my wedding photos 10 years down the line because they would just remind me
of one of the most disappointing days of my life! Spencer is an amazing human
being and I’m sure that he was very frustrated that there was nothing he could
do to fix the situation, but he just sat there and let me cry. I came to find
out that the wedding was being moved to the church gym. Lots of people have
weddings in the church gym but I was one who always refused and thought it was
tacky. I told my mom weeks earlier I’d rather not get married than have it in
the chapel. But here I was with no alternative, and family and guests alike
were already lining up their cars to take all the table, chairs, and
decorations to the church.
Not
to toot my own horn but my wedding was gorgeous! It was wedding blog worthy! It
was the cutest little vintage back-yard wedding you’ve ever seen! I’ve spent
years planning this! And it was all dissolved in a flash. About an hour later I
knew it was time to face everyone, but I didn’t want to go because I didn’t want
to see everyone’s eyes staring at me with sympathy, and I didn’t want to hear
all the voices repeating, “I’m so sorry” and “I feel so bad for you.” I was
emotionally exhausted and I just wanted to tell everyone to leave their
presents and go so I could curl up and go to bed. I looked like a train wreck after
having cried every stitch of make-up off my face but I had lost so much
interest in the event I didn’t even bother putting any of it back on. I just
got in the car and left (my pictures will probably turn out scary but oh well).
I took a deep breath and as I walked in the church, I was very surprised with
what I saw. It actually didn’t look too bad.
At
this point in the story I would just like to point out that I know, and knew
then in my heart that the only thing that mattered was that spencer and I were
married and that we had each other. BUT that isn’t very easy to say or remember
when your dream wedding is being smashed to pieces. At that point you have to
give yourself at least an hour to have a pity party/cry fest. You deserve it,
(oh wait actually I didn’t deserve it). I also know what AMAZING friends and
family I have. No one goes to a wedding thinking they are going to be helping
set up, but everyone pitched in so that when I walked in I wouldn’t immediately
burst into tears. In 45 minutes, 100 people band together to turn an ugly
basketball gym into a faux garden party. It was another thing that was very
emotional for me to take in. I now had the overwhelming feeling of guilt and
gratitude at the work everyone had done to salvage spencer and I’s day. My one
regret is that, because I was so sick to my stomach and emotional from what had
happened, I wasn’t hungry for any of the food. And it was freaking good! Well
the storm only lasted a few hours and when we left it was clear. Why God had to
schedule the storm during the only 3 hours that day that I needed clear, I don’t
know; but I do know that I have a lot of people that love us.
You
know that feeling you get when the power goes out and your family gathers
together in the living room and everyone drags out their mattresses and you all
huddle around candles? Well that’s what this wedding felt like; a giant family
coming together in hard times to make a moment bearable; even enjoyable. The whole
day wasn’t a bust. I had a great experience during the sealing that I would
like to share, and that made the day endurable. As many of you know my grandpa
died three weeks before the wedding, which was very hard for me because I was
close with him and wanted him to make it until then. Before the sealing the
sealer said that this ceremony is done in the presents of angels and (not
knowing my grandfather had just died) he said “and those close to you who have
passed on, maybe even recently, will be there.” After the ceremony he approached
my mother and out of nowhere asked if my grandmother’s husband had passed away.
My mother told him yes, just a few weeks ago. The sealer said he wanted to talk
to us and my grandmother privately. After everyone left he said he wanted us to
know that my grandpa was there with us today and told us how much he loved us. Which
I already knew both; I felt him too. But it was cool to hear from someone who
had no idea he had passed away.
Well
this is a very long post, and there’s not much more to say, but I’d like to add
for all you people who are thinking to yourselves “That’s what you get for
being married on Friday the 13th,” but guess what… there was a storm
the next day too so even if I had it on Saturday I would have been just as
screwed so keep your superstitious comments to yourself (lady who I won’t name
at wedding *cough cough*). But I can't complaint too much; I have an amazing husband who reminds me why it was all worth it every morning when I wake up to his cute smile. Moral of the story, there is always someone who’s
wedding went worse than yours, and don’t forget that the love of those who
support you can overcome the worst of days.
Dinner with my bridesmaids the night before the wedding
My fun wedding nails!
Had to drink one of these on the way to the temple.
